At first I thought I was coming down with a bug. My whole head felt hot, like I was running a fever. The air leaving my nostrils was hot as well. My face would feel prickly and my neck was tight and sore. Surely I’m coming down with some sort of strange bug. This would happen at work in the mornings as I’m reading news articles about the election. “Trump said this…Clinton said that…”, I would read as my face felt like I’d been in the sun too long. A strange ache in my stomach would form and I’d close the page I was on as I couldn’t concentrate on what I’d begun reading because of the icky feeling that began to come over me. But by the time I’d leave work the feeling would go away. Then the next morning I’d hit up Huffington Post or read the comments section on some article on MSN.Com and that strange bug would start to act up. Do I have the Zika virus? Did I catch something from that weird delivery driver that kept wheezing with the bloodshot eyes? What the hell is wrong with me?

What’s wrong with me is an overwhelming sense of dread knowing that the world will be collapsing into itself very soon thanks to the dumbing down of the society I currently reside in. Confederate flags, building walls, police murdering unarmed men and women, cyber bullying, racism alive and well in the land of the free, the great military complex, the continuing American oligarchy, an ignorant billionaire buffoon possibly sneaking into the White House and the bitter, anti-intellectuals willing to vote him in because he’s a “straight shooter” and “not a politician”.

Yeah, that pretty much covers the main reasons for my existential dread.

dickYou know, I’m not even making the argument of “Why won’t you vote for her?” I’m saying “Why in the f**k would you vote for him?” Grudge voting isn’t the answer here. Give your vote to the stoned Libertarian, or don’t vote at all. I’d respect either of those decisions. But when someone is telling me that they’ve voting for the “businessman” because he’s an outsider and he’s gonna “build a wall” I have to wonder what happened in their life that they’ve gotten to this point. And these just aren’t the trolls in the comment sections of news sites or the mouth breathers you see wearing ‘All Lives Matter’ t-shirts outside of peaceful police protests. These are people I know. These are people I care for and love. Friends, family, and people I’ve known for years at work that I’ve gotten along wonderfully with. They’ve all suddenly turned a corner to where they can’t see that voting for the five time bankruptcy-filing businessman might not be a good idea for us regular folks. They somehow can’t see that he may not have the working class folks best interests in mind. Why would you hand the keys to the kingdom over to a guy that says the things this guy says? It’s like a brand new political party has been created here in the US. It’s the “I Don’t Give A Shit” party. Well you know what? I do give a shit. So if you’re voting for this guy, then f**k you.

I love you, but f**k you.

So, now I’ve got to prepare in case of the unfortunate event this clown actually weasels his way into the Oval Office. We need lots of canned goods, shovels to dig the great northern tunnel, and as much bottled water as we can fit into the underground bunker. We know enough first aid to get by, and the generators should give us enough electricity to last a few months. We’ve got all the seasons of The Sopranos, Breaking Bad, and Diff’rent Strokes, as well as a portable turntable with a selection of “island records”, including Tangerine Dream’s Rubycon, Steve Reich’s Music For 18 Musicians, John Coltrane’s A Love Supreme, and Weird Al’s Dare to Be Stupid. There’s an impressive collection of literature down in the bunker as well, including works by Henry Miller, William Faulkner, Ray Bradbury, and Dr. Spock. Graphic novels, back issues of Pizza Monthly and Surviving The Apocalypse in the New Millennium, and the last 30 years worth of Reader’s Digest in case I think I need some moderate racism in my life. The kids have plenty of board games and VHS copies of Disney movies we can burn in case we run out of heat.

hueyHopefully I don’t need all of this. Hopefully this is all just a bad dream. Maybe I’m dreaming right now. When I wake up we can all have a good laugh over all of this. Maybe have a cup of coffee, eat some danish, and talk about how ridiculous it would be if that spoiled, rich bully with orange skin actually did get into the White House. Surely that wouldn’t really happen. It was just a weird and terrible dream.

That’s all it was. Right?

About the Author jhubner73

This is where I drop the spat and spittle, the sentimental fat and drivel... Music and such, and maybe a word or two about a word or two. Midwest point-of-view, without all that religion and gun stuff. Intellectually unintellectual. Elitist for the pizza and beer crowd. Grab a bean bag and lounge in the basment for a while, won't you?

20 comments

  1. I try to stay out of political stuff online, as my comments surely won’t help anything in your lives there. But your post (and a lack of coffee I need to address post-haste) has inspired me to send hope to you.

    Honestly, all I can think of is Henry Rollins, who said (I’m paraphrasing) that you’re voting evil of two lessers. My heart goes out to all thinking, rational Americans who just want to go on with their lives.

    If it were me in your polling booths, I would not vote for either of your main candidates. Not even with a fever clouding my faculties. It’s a shame only those two candidates get coverage. It’s a train wreck (either way) that can be seen from miles away and would be easily avoidable but the country seems intent on driving right into it. I feel for you.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I appreciate your hope. It’s greatly needed here I think. And I too try to avoid political talk online, as civil political discourse no longer exists. It’s just bloody spittle and gnashing teeth. Everyone thinks they’re a political science major because they occasionally click on news site click bait. And if religion is involved? Give it a wide birth.

      Rollins is spot-on(he usually is), and voting for either feels like giving up(or in.) still not sure what I’m doing, but there’s one I know for certain I won’t be casting a vote for.

      Thanks again.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sometimes, when confronted with two minutes of the bloviation and bombast (it’s about all I can stand), I start to think that this shit show might be what America needs in order to wake up. Let it get so bad that even the nimnods have to admit that things need to change. It’ll hurt, it’ll suck, but you’ll (maybe) be stronger for it when it’s all over…

        Stay strong, brother. The dust will settle eventually, I just hope it’s not on some sort of dystopian post-apocalyptic landscape where you’re using shiny pebbles as currency.

        Send us co-ordinates for your tunnel. We’ll start digging from our end and meet you halfway.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. I know we’ve touched on this subject before and I honestly can’t believe that Trump is really in a position where he’s getting quotes from removal companies for a move to the White House. Madness. But, I guess there’s a silver lining, right? Right?

    Two heads of the same dragon, though. I think we learned that neither party believes the office is about serving the people when Bernie was beaten by Clinton.

    The sad thing is, when people feel disenchanted they think “change!” Trump, unfortunately, represents that change. A guy who is standing yelling “fuck them” and “fuck that”. He doesn’t know what the people want, but he knows people are fed up and he’s exploiting that. That said, I read that he stated he was smart for not paying taxes. That’s got to alienate some folks. Maybe enough folks.

    … it’s a shame that not enough people will look at an alternative or think for themselves. Media, man. Too much power.

    I can’t see President Trump. I also can’t see how he’d be taken seriously enough to make things happen.

    What will be, will be, my friend. And you know, if the shit hits the fan, us Scots are awfy welcoming to refugees!

    … and for what it’s worth, that dystopian post-apocalyptic landscape where you’re using shiny pebbles as currency sounds like the silver lining.

    Especially if there’s a great synth soundtrack!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hay J’ speaks mindful truths’ as for Refugees’ I actually have American Born Friends that have pack it up’ and moved North’ to Canada because of the Political Madness of the United States, and that was before the Obama election. I am going to have to get myself so funked up just to vote for one of these ‘Pin headed – Pie Holes’ to become the next President of the United States.

    ‘Last I read’ at the Grocery store checkout magazine shelf, Hillary has Parkinson’s Disease’ Rickets and Scurvy’ and as well she had to be loaded into her van horizontally feet first and she has been yakking up chunks of Lung…

    ‘As for ‘Satan’ well he is just outright Bat Shit Crazy as well as Rich’ and so full of himself that he doesn’t even need to come off as half way intelligent to run for the Oval’ Office. Other than that I have nothing more logical to state here and thus exit’ to spin some good music’.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m scared, very scared. We’re not just choosing the next President, we’re choosing my new boss. This election makes me pine for the surely coming day when I can vote for President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho… he knows what plants crave.

    After you wake up, but before you pour the coffee, please do the kindness of rousting me as well. I fear I’m having the same horrible dream.

    Liked by 1 person

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