We’ve arrived at that time of the year where many Midwesterners flock to Florida and pretend they’re not Midwesterners. College kids drinking dangerously close to mental annihilation and exhibiting behavior that would’ve made Nero blush. But here in Jhubner73 headquarters we don’t do that kind of nonsense. What’s spring break mean for us? Not a damn thing. Kids sleep in, eat more sugars than normal, stay up late watching R-Rated flicks and The Clone Wars on Netflix, and contemplate bathing sometime in those seven days off. Plus, there’s sleepovers, play dates, trips to the video store, comic book store, and grocery store for the essentials: milk, bread, eggs, butter, brownie mix, and ice cream. This is what Spring Break is for us.
It was like this for me as a kid, too. My family never ventured to the Sunshine State and pretended to be like the Joneses with their Tropicana sun lotion, swimming trunks, sunburnt backs, and sand in the crotch. I don’t think less of those that did that, my family just didn’t need to get the hell out of dodge in order to enjoy Spring Break. Spring Break to me meant having my cousin(s) come over and stay the week. We’d head to my grandma and grandpa’s house on the lake and gorge ourselves on Nestle confections(my grandpa was a salesman for Nestle and had a closet full of Nestle candy in their basement.) I can remember one Spring Break in particular -1988 I believe- where my cousin Josh ate so many Goobers he woke up in the middle of the night and threw up till morning. He blamed watching The Evil Dead for his vomiting, but I think Goobers played a pretty big part in it as well. Despite projectile vomiting, we had fun on those spring breaks. Frozen pizzas, candy, Mountain Dew, long bike rides, treks through the woods, and lots and lots of movie rentals. It was a blast. As we got older it was video games, playing guitar in my basement, and listening to piles of music.
This is actually the first year where I am taking some time off during spring break. I will be off Thursday and Friday of this week. I’ll be doing yardwork, working on a new vinyl cabinet, working on new music, and of course listening to music. The kids have spent time at their grandma and grandpa’s house, with my son snagging a Star Wars lego set and my daughter getting a zebra pillow pet/zebra blanket to go with her zebra-themed bedroom. My oldest had her friend stay two nights and she’s now over at said friend’s house eating them out of house and home instead of us(there’s nothing left to eat at our place.) Thursday night we’re going to go see Captain America : The Winter Soldier, and Friday afternoon we’re visiting the Hall of Superheroes which is just an hour north of us. Probably grab some lunch as well.
This is our spring break. We stay in the Midwest. We keep it real. And we’ll keep our farmer tans, thank you very much.